Two roads diverged in a wood, and I…

Long ahead I see the fork in the road. The duality clutching at my brain, fighting to take over me. Weird that I don’t feel any one of them is me. It’s as if they want me to be something I am not.

It doesn’t make sense. I draw from both of them, they are what I am. But as singularities, individuals, they form identities that frighten me and entice me at the same time.

They are part of me, cores that define me. But they are fast growing louder. Each claiming dominance. They have seen the fork too. They realize that their time is being counted and they are eating me up, to get to me before the inevitable choosing.

But then can I delay the choice. Stay from the fork as long as I can avoid. I just have keep with this clamor. Violent bursts of frustrations, each never knowing fulfillment, constantly barging at the door that would unleash them.

Pushing and pulling to take me to the judgement day. Kill myself, for their bloom.

What would be left of me, when one takes over… Who would I be when a core lays there dormant. Lying there like a defeated pawn, still forcing out feeble cries that barely echo out his throat.

How many am I? Singularity, Duality, Trinity. A child growing up to be an amalgamation, towering over its progenitors, a being of their own, but nothing familiar. They towed at him to be what they saw themselves to be. But what is it that they have molded?

The Self and the selfless, the duality fights on. The fight that I would win and lose at the same. Will I mourn for the crippled, the lame, the downtrodden? Would I triumph over them both?


SubAtomic Time Travel – The Macro

This is Part 1 of 3

Part 2 – The Micro

Part 3 – The Hypothesis 

Time travel and its physical possibilities and following repercussions has been adopted by the sci-fi community as their wayward son. They don’t really understand it, but they never really give up trying. In the process, they may end kicking and battering it down into a convoluted mess. And now is my turn to do the same.
What if time travel already exists? No this is not a conspiracy article. Hear me out. Before I lay out my theory, let me set out the foundation.

The go-to theories for space-time related stuff is the Theory of General Relativity and the Theory of Special Relativity, both by the guy on the left (the picture’s right… Relativity! Thou art confusing).

Not saying that Newton was wrong. He was badass in his own right, with all the Calculus, Optics and all. Even though Newtonian Physics or the Classical Laws of Mechanics does work at observable (to naked eye) speeds and sizes. When it approaches microscopic (space-wise) or speed of light (time-wise) all hell breaks loose.

Special Theory of Relativity: The Special Theory of Relativity states that time varies depend on the relative velocity between two particles.

General Theory of Relativity: The General Theory of Relativity postulated how gravity could bend relative time. It approximates as this, imagine a three dimensional “fabric” in a four dimensional space with time as the fourth dimension. All objects lie in this dimensional space creating a “dimple” of their own, discerning how other objects move around them. This dimple or bending of space-time fabric is what we experience as Gravity. Refer the image below:

With these two theory came to light (get it?) a phenomenon called Time Dilation. Imagine twins, Arnold who stays on Earth and Bernard inside a spaceship approaching the speed of light (299 792 458 m/s). Comparatively, Bernard would age much slower than his twin Arnold. In my understanding, since Bernard was away from Earth’s gravitational pull and moving with in very high velocity relative to Arnold, Bernard’s time was “dilated”. This is, on deeper analysis, time travel, since the Bernard, from the perspective of Arnold, has traveled to the future.

This effect has been proven with 2 time-pieces and a GPS Satellite, with the time-pieces differing some micro-seconds with each other.

Now that we have covered “approaching speed of light”, what if we floor it and go beyond. In theory, we could go back in time if travel back in time. But Einstein’s equations, which as I already said is the ruling party here, states that – to do so the object would have to be of infinite mass and with a length of 0. Which I am gonna interpret as infinite density since density, p=m/V (m – mass and V – Volume, a function of length)

This leads us to two other theories

  • Tipler Cylinder: Proposed by Astronomer Frank Tipler, this involved a matter with mass 10x Sun, rolled in to a long dense cylinder. If this cylinder is spun some billion revolutions per minute, a spaceship revolving around it could end up in a time loop.
  • Black holes: Similar to the Tipler theory, this involved a spaceship revolving a black hole.

All these theories have the same thing in common, an object with infinitely high density.

Let me open up one more card, Wormholes. Now Einstein, collaborating with another physicist Nathan Rosen, proposed the idea of wormholes, which are basically “shortcuts” through space-time.Image result for wormhole cartoon

Wormholes are (I am skeptical) tubes with black-holes at both ends. But even then, the wormholes that the theory predicted where incredibly unstable – collapsing quickly – and incredulously small – 10³⁶ meters.

This is the foundation for the macro part of the hypothesis, moving in to the micro

SubAtomic Time Travel – The Hypothesis

This is Part 3 of 3

Part 1 – Macro

Part 2 – Micro

I was reading through the Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra when this thought struck. Then I began digging on things that could support my theory. I won’t claim to have done an end-to-end research or that I understood everything that I read. Blame it on the general lack of understanding stuff with complex math involved.

Related image

So basically my hypothesis is this – Behavior of electrons around an atom is weird because it travels through time appearing at different places at the same time, making it hard to discern its current position.

My hypothesis starts with the different theories of time travel. Every single one of them included high density object and a comparatively minute object traveling around it.

Let me set up a new term called Relative Mass. Mass of an object varies with the force of attraction between one body and an another which can be termed as Relative Mass. Relative Mass when the force of attraction between the objects is gravity, is what we quantify as weight. So basically relative mass is measured based on the predominant force acting between the objects.

Considering Sub-Atomic particles, or specifically the Nucleus, the predominant force of attraction is the nuclear force. Nuclear force is so strong that it overcomes the electromagnetic repulsive force between multiple protons. It not only negates it, it even keeps them together. Since relative mass is directly proportional to the predominant force of attraction between two objects, we could postulate that the density of a neutron is very high.

I know it’s hard to agree upon since relative mass itself is a questionable new development. To alleviate that, let me introduce Schwarzschild radius. Schwarzschild radius is the radius of a sphere such that, if all the mass of an object were to be compressed within that sphere, the escape velocity from the surface of the sphere would equal to the speed of light.

Image result for Schwarzschild radius

And having read more on Schwarzschild radius, I found that the Radius needed for nucleus is much lesser what it actually is measured for a Carbon Atom (An Example), invalidating myself.

Bu that’s where relative mass comes in. Schwarzschild radius is calculated based on the gravitational force, but in the subatomic realm, the predominant force is the nuclear force of attraction. Considering that, the relative mass of nucleus would be much higher and thereby the radius needed for it to be a stellar black hole.

Now I am not insisting that the nucleus be a black hole, but what I am saying is that Nucleus is a particle of comparable density.  Thus making the electrons moving around it comparable to the time traveling spaceship.


I don’t have enough know how for a mathematical support for this. But I do believe in relative mass and that we take that into consideration, the subatomic world would be easier to decipher. Right now, we are trying to decipher the quantum world using laws of the macro world. Gravity may be the king in the macro world, but it’s rule doesn’t apply in the micro world since Nuclear force trumps it by a large margin.

Thank You!

 bow bowing GIF

SubAtomic Time Travel – The Micro

This is Part 2 of 3

Part 1 – The Macro

Part 3 – The Hypothesis 

Now that we have dealt with the macroscopic layout of things. Let’s move on to the microscopic. Down the rabbit hole towards the Sub-Atomic world.

This is area which has been boggling the most brilliant minds to walk this Earth for centuries and would continue to do so ahead, because of the sheer uncertainty of the particles’ behavior and general disregard to the macroscopic laws.

Before we move on to the quirky stuff. Let’s cover the basics.

The essence of an Atom is 3 guys: Neutron, Proton and Electron

Image result for neutron proton electron cartoon

Neutron is the resident nice guy. He just stays there being dense, trying to hold everyone together, no sides taken.

Proton and Electron are, literally, polar opposites. One carries around all the weight while the other is negligent. One stays home hugging Neutron while the other roams around. One doesn’t care about other atoms, while the other gets pretty excited when around other atoms.

Scientists have long pondered on how these particles live together forming the atom. Multiple theories have come up from the lazy but first – Plum Pudding Model, to the who-knows-what-is-going-on – Atomic Orbital Model. The atomic orbital model is the latest one and that is what we are going to focus on.

Now the Atomic Orbital Model states that the Nucleus form the center of the atom, constituting of positively charged protons and the neutral neutrons. Since similar charges repel each other, in all logic and sense, protons should have repel one another like buttons out of an exploding shirt (Reference below)

But they are kept together by really strong nuclear force and/due to little minions called the mesons. But what makes the Atomic Orbital Model different from other models is the presence of, as the name suggests, Atomic Orbitals.

Till the coming of Atomic Orbital Model or the Quantum Mechanical Model, the widely accepted model was that of the Bohr Model, developed by Niels Bohr, where the electrons revolved around the nucleus in well defined spherical paths.

Image result for bohr model wrong

This, like Newton’s Classical Law of Mechanics, failed when in case of complex case. Complex case here were atoms with multiple electrons, or basically anything other than the Hydrogen atom.

Multiple principles where put forward to understand the general quirky behavior of electrons inside an atom. French Physicist Louis de Broglie hypothesized that the Bohr Model failed because electrons where treated just as particles, while they could also have wave-like properties. Actually he said that all the particles had wave-like properties with the formula λ=​ h/mv,  where λ is the wavelength and m is the mass of the particle. So since ​electron has negligible mass, it’s wave-like property was high.

Based on this idea, Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger theorized the Quantum Mechanical Model with the electron’s position determined by a wave function,ψ in the formula Hψ=Eψis the Hamiltonian operator (ignored) and E is the binding energy of the electron.

Now I am not gonna act like I understand everything,  but basically it came to this – Schrodinger’s equation ended up giving out multiple wave functions for each allowed value for E. This meant that at any given time, it is impossible to calculate both the position of an electron and its Energy (or momentum).

So scientists ended up denoting quantum numbers to denote spaces (or orbitals) where an electron can be found with very high probability. The red balloons in the atomic orbital model below show these orbitals, sort of diffuse clouds where electrons can be found.

Image result for Atomic Orbital Model


Now that we have covered both macro and micro world, let’s move onto my theory.



Salt pillars at the door 

Remember the goodbyes. Remember the last time you looked into their eyes and bid farewell. Because that’s where love lies. That is the moment that you know how much they have loved you.

There may not have been elaborate speeches, there may not be over-the-top send-offs. But there need be just one word and a hundred unspoken ones. A silent cacophony of sweet nothings. And it pierces deep into you and the wounded you wonder whether to turn back and share the fate of Lot’s Wife. A pillar of tears, standing eternal, moving neither back nor front. An example of regret.

In this race to death, you either take your love with you or leave them at the door. But never forget your last glance back. Count your losses to cap them with your gains and keep telling yourself you have won. 

Tat Tvam Asi

There are these recurring phases in my life where I engage in short bouts with spirituality. I am currently going through one such phase which led me to the the sacred texts of Hindu ideology – The Upanishads. 

I haven’t gone full hard-core enough to learn Sanskrit and dive into the original texts. I am on the easy trek with a translation by Ekanath Easwaran. It’s still seems a trek nonetheless and I am standing at the base trying to get a glimpse at the peak. 
Ekanath was kind enough to put in an introduction to prepare me before the dive. While going through the introduction, with a certain lax I must admit, I stumbled on this word “Tatvamasi”. 

Somehow there was a strange connect that I felt with this syllable. This word seemingly so small that it’s meaning is just three words “Thou art that” (there is something about spirituality and archaic English) had such profound impact on me that it’s still echoing inside me. 

Tatvamasi – so much meaning lies between those words. The singularity of the world. The oneness in all beings. The alpha and the omega. You are one and the whole. 

Meditate on this word until it reverberates your whole and look around. Aham Brahmasmi! 

Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club 

Last night I was shuffling through some random playlist. I didn’t even realize I was listening until I heard the line “Don’t, Don’t, Don’t… Don’t you forget about me” and found my fist up, hitting the air. 

Breakfast Club is one of those movies that I watched with no clue whatsoever about what I am getting into, and ended up making a sort of profound impact. 

For those not initiated into the Breakfast Club, please do sit yourself down and watch it. It’s about 5 kids, teens with their trademark angst, who couldn’t have ended up in the same room, if it was not for the fateful Saturday detention. These are five who are so different from each other that they soon bond over their common dislike for one another. 

The movie closes with one of the most iconic scenes I’ve have ever seen. Backed by the theme song by Simple Minds it’s one of those scenes that instills a sort of nostalgia in me. 

Till last night I saw this as a moment of hope, protagonists leaving the hall as unlikely friends, if not more. Each one gaining something in place of something about them that they had shed. Judd Nelson’s iconic fist-to-the-air. His character, John Bender finally getting a break in his life from the most unlikely of sources. 

But last night something shifted and I saw this scene for what it really was. It stands for that momentary bliss that we feel when something happens in our life, but may never happen ever again how much ever we want it to. 

The day ends with each of them learning something about themselves and one another. Another day starts and who knows what entails. This is even addressed in the movie when Brian asks whether they would actually look out for each other once they are back in their hoods. Disguising the real them in a visage of false laughs and desperate friendships. 

The fist bump to the high seem so much more right now. So much depth in that momentary high.