Long have I lived in this veritable wonderland, a life devoid of pain and worry. A privileged life. Not that I am complaining now. I have now been defined by my troubles. It was a lesson long overdue. The Looking Glass theory.
I had this delusion of being in a perfect life devoid of the worries that others went through. I had the luxury of having my own pace to things, the right of choice, control over the events in my life. And events of one fine week, washed it all down the drain, leaving me gasping for breath.
I knew where I went wrong and what I did wrong, but for a long time I waited on for the broken puzzle to fix itself. I watched as the gloomy darkness of Depression settled down like snow over a field of grass. Slowly, gently embracing you over.
And due to the special case of my circumstance I was caught in an ever continuing web of depression stages. A loop that wound around me over and over again, denying me the sweet release of closure.
Karma’s gaze penetrating deep as her embrace tightened around, walking me through a gallery of sorts, not unlike Dickens’ Scrooge. Walking through I realized that this was nothing unlike what I had brought upon others. Just because I didn’t hear their tears doesn’t deny my ownership. But no, I was not a bad guy. I like to think I never was. I had principles that justified my actions. In my defense, my inaction would have led to another set of tears. Now I have been dealt with the same hand. A sweet taste of my own medicine. Swallow it I shall. Because my principles.
I am molded now, change inevitable has crept up inside me. The smiles and laughs seem devilish now. But I keep up with the others joining them in fake laughs and meaningless smiles.
Life breaks everyone, you just need to suit up for that moment and take the blow head-on.